PANDORA: THE NEWEST GODS' INVENTION! by: Mayra Medeiros

It has been announced today that the Olympian gods invented a new device called “Woman 1.0 – Pandora” that could possibly change the structure of the mortal world as we know it. Fear not, beloved readers, our staff did an in-depth analysis to find out what lead to this intriguing new creation.

It all started when Zeus asked Prometheus, a descended of the Titans, to decide who deserved the better part of the sacrificed animals. Prometheus, as Zeus, has a tricky nature, so he tried to deceive the gods by giving them nothing but bones with an appealing package, favouring men. Zeus, infuriated by such act, decided to get back on him, beginning a series of creative inventions to sustain such dissension.

Zeus cut off the access to supplies, such as wheat and fire. Men had to hide wheat seeds deep in the ground, so they could grow protected from Zeus. That fact marks the beginning of labour, an act never before done in the history. And since men need to cook meal in order to ingest it, Prometheus stole a little seed of fire and gave it to them. When Zeus saw the fog coming out of people’s house, he got furious and decided to punish mankind. He gathered some of the gods he trusted mostly, all very competent at what they do, to create this new device, affectionately called Pandora. This is how the team was divided: Hephaestus created Pandora’s shape from clay, Athena was responsible for her craftiness, Hermes taught her how to be deceitful and stubborn and Aphrodite gave the final touches, adding femininity.

Pandora has a beautiful appearance, but is said to be deceiving and a liar that could possibly destroy a man’s life when not satisfied. Despite Pandora’s obscure characteristics, what the gods created is a creature that is the opposite of men, which means that Eros can act and make them be attracted to one another. Furthermore, the invention of women means that men can now extent their life through children, which indicates the beginning of a linear time: people now are faded to be born, to grow, reproduce and then die. Before this invention, men were born from Gaea already as grown-ups and after thousands of years they would just disappear.

The device, a prototype that still is in testing phase – was send to Epimetheus, Prometheus’ brother. He is the first man to test the product and soon will be reviewing his opinion here at Greeks n’ Geeks. Stay tuned.